Definitely Dead

Definitely Dead

Since Louisiana cocktail waitress Sookie Stackhouse has so few living relatives, she hates to lose one - even her cousin Hadley, undead consort of the vampire Queen of Louisiana. Hadley's left everything she has to Sookie, but claiming that inheritance has a high risk factor. Some people don't want her looking too deeply into Hadley's past, or Hadley's possessions. And...

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Title:Definitely Dead
Author:Charlaine Harris
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Edition Language:English

Definitely Dead Reviews

  • Beth

    This series is one of the most mind-numbingly stupid things I’ve ever read. And believe it or not, I mean that to be a highly complimentary statement. Weird, I know.

    Before starting book number six, track down a copy of the short story titled “One Word Answer” that appears in the anthology

    . Randomly, (and I say randomly because it’s been sitting in my house for about two years now and since I really don’t

    anthologies, had very little desire to even crack the cover) so I spent the extra

    This series is one of the most mind-numbingly stupid things I’ve ever read. And believe it or not, I mean that to be a highly complimentary statement. Weird, I know.

    Before starting book number six, track down a copy of the short story titled “One Word Answer” that appears in the anthology

    . Randomly, (and I say randomly because it’s been sitting in my house for about two years now and since I really don’t

    anthologies, had very little desire to even crack the cover) so I spent the extra 15 minutes reading the ultra-short “One Word Answer” before starting

    and saved myself some confusion—granted, not major confusion, but enough that had I not read the short story first, I’d have been scratching my head.

    Okay, officially they're spoilers, but I'm not going to give away whodunnit, so they're probably spoilers-lite, mm-kay?

    ***spoilers past this point***

    Here are some important facts:

    --The new bartender at Fangtasia is a lesbian vampire.

    --Vampire Bill sucks.

    --Quinn the weretiger has purple eyes and he’s packing heat (and I'm not talking about a gun).

    --Quinn and Sookie engage in a heated session of dry-humping, but there is no actual sex.

    --Quinn is cool…

    …he’s not Eric. I’m not partial or anything, right?

    --Sookie’s definitely dead (and murdered) cousin, Hadley, was a vampire.

    --Hadley was also a lesbian vampire.

    --The vampire queen of Louisiana was Hadley’s lesbian lover.

    --Sookie is on her period for most of this novel.

    --Obviously this opens up the door for all sorts of strange vampires and supernatural creatures to comment on the ethereal scent of her blood.

    --It turns out Sookie has fairy blood.

    --Amelia the witch is

    . I dig her.

    Okay. And now for the most tasteless joke you’ll hear all week…

    Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

    A: See you next month.

    I know, it’s gross. But admit it, you laughed.

    And if you didn’t, you probably shouldn’t read this book.

  • Tracy

    I am so pleased to see Harris getting back on track! I particularly liked Eric socially assassinating Bill at the hospital! Say goodbye to your dating life, Bill...

    Yes, I am firmly in the Eric camp.

  • Jessica

    Ack...these books are so terrible, yet so entertaining. I can't stop reading them, even though I'm mortified to admit that I like them. I was also terribly confused when I started reading this book, and even had to check to make sure that I didn't miss a book in the series somehow. Somehow Sookie's cousin, who has been turned into a vampire by her lover, the Queen of Louisiana, is murdered, but all this happens before the book starts, leaving me a bit confused. Some random thoughts on my part--I

    Ack...these books are so terrible, yet so entertaining. I can't stop reading them, even though I'm mortified to admit that I like them. I was also terribly confused when I started reading this book, and even had to check to make sure that I didn't miss a book in the series somehow. Somehow Sookie's cousin, who has been turned into a vampire by her lover, the Queen of Louisiana, is murdered, but all this happens before the book starts, leaving me a bit confused. Some random thoughts on my part--I like the weretiger Quinn, although every time he calls Sookie, "Babe", I gag. A lot. Amelia the witch is wonderful. How can you not like a character who accidently turns her lover Bob into a cat during sexual experimentation? Bill the Vampire totally and completely sucks. I knew there was a reason I never warmed up to him or even saw any attraction in him. (Give me Eric's liveliness any day!) One thing I really enjoyed about this book is when Sookie starts meeting some of the vampires who work for the Queen of Louisiana and how they tell her a bit of their history. Saxon twins--love it. And I enjoyed the part where the Queen tells Sookie all about her past and how she became a vampire. The ending was exciting and fast paced, too. A fun read.

  • Wanda

    You know, I have library books that I can’t renew and that I should be reading. My kitchen is in chaos and I had cornflakes for supper last night. My to-do list is as long as my arm. And yet, I’m re-reading this series instead of doing any of that. Je ne regrette rien.

    This is the heart-break volume, when Sookie finds out that she’s based a lot of ideas about her life on shifting sands—and doesn’t know what is exactly true any more.

    You know, I have library books that I can’t renew and that I should be reading. My kitchen is in chaos and I had cornflakes for supper last night. My to-do list is as long as my arm. And yet, I’m re-reading this series instead of doing any of that. Je ne regrette rien.

    This is the heart-break volume, when Sookie finds out that she’s based a lot of ideas about her life on shifting sands—and doesn’t know what is exactly true any more.

    To add insult to injury, she is informed by an ancient vampire that she has fairy heritage and that is her big attraction for vampires, who are to fairies what cats are to catnip. He doesn’t even realize that he’s kicking her when she’s down. Quinn has entered stage right at exactly the right to time sooth Sookie’s wounded pride.

    Despite the emotional turmoil and unending vampiric politics, Sookie has to deal with her doubly-deceased cousin’s belongings. During the clean-up of Hadley’s apartment, she discovers yet another body-in-a-closet.

    At least she comes out of these events with a female friend, Amelia, plus some credit with the Queen of Louisiana. She’s going to need both.

    *****

    Another installment in the Sookie Stackhouse soap opera and I am still enjoying these books far more than I would ever have believed that I would! The whole set-up is ridiculous, but it is so much fun.

    No one ever gives Sookie credit for her ideas, but she comes up with more solutions than all of the supposedly ancient vampires put together. And more often than not, it is just like when women pitch ideas in a meeting—the men ignore the ideas and then pitch the same ideas themselves later and congratulate themselves on finding the solutions. Sookie is getting better at having her ideas acknowledged though.

    Another positive development—she seems to be developing some female friends, some back-up for when all the men in her life become difficult. Because let’s face it, lovers come and go, but friends are there through thick and thin.

    I just hit the jackpot in my local used book store—apparently someone was cleaning off their bookshelf and turned in a whole whack of Sookie books, so I have the next several novels queued up and ready to go. Now the temptation will be to read them all at once, which I suspect would decrease my enjoyment of them substantially. Self-control will become important and I’m not sure that I’ve got it this summer.

  • Fabian

    The title refers to the death of the undead... or: dead forever.

    Sookie's cousin was a vampire that got killed for having a strong affiliation with the Vampire Queen of Louisiana (I know, I know!). This was mentioned in a book before, but now the issue comes to the forefront as does the plot of book 1, which started it all. We can now fit pieces of the puzzle together, and it makes more sense to visit the past than to keep on adding characters and intersecting storylines. Mrs. Harris obviously

    The title refers to the death of the undead... or: dead forever.

    Sookie's cousin was a vampire that got killed for having a strong affiliation with the Vampire Queen of Louisiana (I know, I know!). This was mentioned in a book before, but now the issue comes to the forefront as does the plot of book 1, which started it all. We can now fit pieces of the puzzle together, and it makes more sense to visit the past than to keep on adding characters and intersecting storylines. Mrs. Harris obviously knows what she is doing.

    About "True Blood." (Season 1) It was nominated for the Golden Globe, despite critical blahs. My favorite episode is "The Fifth Man in the Fire" which has Sookie thinking her bf is dead, just as her grandmother. Too many bodies piling up has Tara (who makes cameos in the books, but is not a true comrade as she is on the HBO series) thinking that Sookie is trying to commit suicide by inhaling gas fumes, when in reality all she is doing is cleaning the house her grandmother always kept neat. Also, air-time of himbo Jason Stackhouse is limited (thank god), and the cemetary sex scene is HOttt. I have seen the series twice and it is quite captivating. Season 2 better be faithful to "Living Dead in Dallas", a strange sequel to a fiery start. Fellowship of the Sun, the trip to Dallas, all that better stay in. Even the maenid is introduced by Episode 10! (Exciting!)

    Man, I really will miss this after book 7 (I yet have to purchase the rest of the Sookie Stackhouse novels). I am entranced by this like a human would be to Bill, Eric, or any of the vampire denizens within the Charlaine Harris' Southern Vamp realm.

  • Jayson

    | More than Satisfactory

    New characters are winning and the atmosphere is fun, but the story is too simple and it can't stand on charm alone.

  • Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*

    At first glimpse Harris’ love interests always seem like a good idea, and the hinting descriptions of Quinn in book #5 had me panting, begging for more. I mean he sounds like a taller Vin Diesel (ugh, curse you

    I did not want to know he was only 5’9”. And don’t get me wrong there is nothing WRONG with being 5’9” – that’s the exact height that CQ lies to himself that he is – I just always pictured

    At first glimpse Harris’ love interests always seem like a good idea, and the hinting descriptions of Quinn in book #5 had me panting, begging for more. I mean he sounds like a taller Vin Diesel (ugh, curse you

    I did not want to know he was only 5’9”. And don’t get me wrong there is nothing WRONG with being 5’9” – that’s the exact height that CQ lies to himself that he is – I just always pictured him as like 6’2”).

    And I looooooove me some Vin Diesel, especially in ‘Pitch Black’. Riddick will always have a special place in my heart.

    Any-fucking-ways.

    So Quinn, amirite??, this guy turns into a fucking TIGER, and not just any old tiger a

    !!

    That’s awesome, IN CONCEPT. Unfortunately once any hot guy in Harris’ books becomes Sookie Stackhouse’s

    of the moment he not only loses points for intelligence in my eyes, he also gets more page time. And more page time with Harris usually means

    . In this world, for me, the more mystery I have about a male the more interesting he is. Once I start hearing about how tedious and boring his job is or how his eyes are violet-brown like muthafucking

    or the clothes he stylishly sports for ‘date-night’, he quickly loses appeal.

    So, needless to say, I lost interest in my reason for picking this book up:

    The murder mystery was

    more interesting in this one. And while I find Harris horrible at telegraphing everything ahead of time I was a lot more interested in what was going on here. I don’t want to get to spoilery, but I will say that there are cool elements in

    with regards to how the other half lives. The politics of the vampires, being but one of them that I found intriguing.

    Witches, shifters, weres, vengeance......

    Murder, mayhem, chaos: all that good stuff.

    Unfortunately it is still written by Harris, and even really good writing from her is just decent writing (in my opinion.)

  • Becky

    Let me just say, right off the bat, that I had a love/hate relationship with this installment of Sookie's life.

    This one was another good read, story-wise, but it frustrated the hell out of me. We're steadily learning more and more about Sookie, and her life and love(s), and not all of those things are good.

    This book completely engrossed me, even while I was getting more and more upset with it. At times I felt myself winding up the old throwin' arm to chuck the damn thing at the wall, but that

    Let me just say, right off the bat, that I had a love/hate relationship with this installment of Sookie's life.

    This one was another good read, story-wise, but it frustrated the hell out of me. We're steadily learning more and more about Sookie, and her life and love(s), and not all of those things are good.

    This book completely engrossed me, even while I was getting more and more upset with it. At times I felt myself winding up the old throwin' arm to chuck the damn thing at the wall, but that wouldn't have made the outcome any different, and it probably would dented the wall just to spite me, even though I'm reading a paperback.

    **Possible spoilers**

    After a heartbreaking revelation about Bill and the origin of their relationship, Sookie now feels completely betrayed and duped. She is also being ridiculously unreasonable and irrational, in my opinion. To be honest, Sookie has an annoying habit of running away from anything that upsets her. She would be much better off if she would stop making assumptions about people and their motives and just let them actually TALK to her.

    It is insanely frustrating to me that this story is told in first person, so we only get Sookie's lopsided and biased view of everyone around her. This is true of all books told in 1st person, of course, but this book really seems to have taken that to another level, since Sookie is being so stubbornly stupid and spiteful, even.

    I really think that her ability to hear other people's thoughts has made her more than a bit jaded, and so she is more than ready to see the bad in people, which leads her to just shut them down, utterly and completely.

    Perhaps there are people out there who will disagree with my saying these things about Sookie, and I can understand that. She is generally good, and tries to do the right thing, and I do like her, most of the time. She's gutsy and fun, smart but naive. But, when it comes to her heart, she's all-or-nothing.

    Bill is no saint, but I truly believe that he loves Sookie and would do anything for her. I feel for him the most, even though Sookie was hurt so badly. Bill really had no choice in any of the things that Sookie is angry with him about, and he is possibly losing her because of his role in Vampire society.

    Eric cares for Sookie, but in a self-serving, hey-look-at-the-cute-puppy-can-I-keep-it? kind of way. I'm not a big fan of a Sookie/Eric relationship. That's just personal preference though. I see nothing wrong with either Alcide or Quinn (yet...) so I am still rather baffled by Sookie's anger at Alcide, but I'm glad that she is being more cautious with Quinn.

    Maybe the next book will resolve some of these issues for me. I sure hope so.

  • Erin

    2.5 Stars

    This book was all over the place. I don't think I could describe the plot of this book if you gave me 1 million dollars.

    It had something to do with Sookie's dead cousin.

    A vampire meeting

    Sookie got yet another love interest

    And Bill is still THE WORST!

  • Geraldine O'Hagan

    The sixth book in the series, and yet another round of Sookie’s astoundingly dull thoughts on the outfits, hair-colour, cars and interior décor of herself and everyone she meets. Plot-wise there’s some more mysterious attacks on Sookie to explain, another male whose sexual assault Sookie mistakes for courtship, the re-appearance of Bill’s chaetophilia and basically very little else. A character to whom we have never been introduces is killed, Sookie goes to investigate the death of another

    The sixth book in the series, and yet another round of Sookie’s astoundingly dull thoughts on the outfits, hair-colour, cars and interior décor of herself and everyone she meets. Plot-wise there’s some more mysterious attacks on Sookie to explain, another male whose sexual assault Sookie mistakes for courtship, the re-appearance of Bill’s chaetophilia and basically very little else. A character to whom we have never been introduces is killed, Sookie goes to investigate the death of another character who has never appeared in the series, Sookie is nearly raped again, another body turns up in a cupboard. Sookie goes to another hospital. Bubba turns up again for no particular reason, and once again we have to hear everything about how and why he is and what he likes to eat. This remains uninteresting and unamusing. Finally two less-than-thrilling mysteries are cleared up: Sookie’s attacker is revealed to be the character who has a grudge against her, and the person who sliced a random new character in half with a sword turns out to be a new character who walks around wearing a large sword at all times. For some reason I was not entirely gripped with suspense whilst waiting for these outcomes.

    Sookie on Tara:

    Apart from the bitchiness, I’m not sure why Sookie makes this sound like she’s describing a child playing dress-up. In fairness, Portia is in fact a lawyer, and so is surely entitled to own as many lawyer suits as she wants without being insulted.

    Jason Stackhouse leaving his girlfriend at home suffering from the after-effects of a miscarriage, whilst he visits his sister’s for a hamburger.

    To get around her own stupid rules about the were/shifter ability only passing down from two were/shifter parents to their oldest child, Harris decides to make both old character Debbie Pelt and her newly-introduced sister Sandra adoptees. As Sookie explains:

    I have two problems with this. Firstly, if weres and shifters have such fertility problems then where are all these adoption-eligible babies coming from. And second, at what point did Debbie turn from a were-lynx to a were-fox? I can only assume that even Harris herself is unable to bear to re-read her books, and thus was unable to proof-read for consistency.

    So being in the same room as a woman having a period causes a vampire to experience

    and suffer somewhat. This applies even if the room in question is a crowded bar and the vampire and woman in question are not even close. In which case Bill has presumably had a very difficult 130-odd years as a vampire, as menstruating is something that many people do quite regularly for several days at a time without considering whether there might be a vampire in the vicinity. Personally I would have recommended him to develop a little self-control during his many years in existence, at least to a sufficient degree to avoid him making silly faces whenever a menstruating woman is nearby.

    Rafe Prudhomme

    Gladiola the Half-Demon

    Jade Flower – Clumsily faux-asian.

    That’s not ironic Sookie. Disrespectful of your grandmothers wishes perhaps, but not ironic.

    Although I suppose it’s entirely in character for someone who is apparently shocked and amazed by the kind of basic goth accoutrements that the average 12-year-old might wear without a second thought. Black lipstick and striped tights really aren’t all that bizarre Sookie.

    Claudine the Fairy turns out to not only be Sookie’s Fairy Godmother, but also engaged in committing good deeds in order to become an angel. A nonsensical conflation of pre-Christian folk beliefs, traditional fairy tales and non-canonical biblical mumbo-jumbo often spouted in TV specials featuring desperate, mentally-ill people. Plus whilst informing Sookie of these facts Claudine compounds the horror by referring to Sookie as

    .

    Absolutely everyone that Sookie knows, without exception, knows that there is no way that she would ever have sex with a woman. How? Presumably the subject hasn’t arisen independently with every one of her acquaintances. The only way this could make sense is if Sookie is known to have a prejudice against lesbians. Which, given that she has a prejudice against all women other than her, would certainly make sense.

    A particularly fine example of Sookie’s tendency to combine an obsession with her own clothes and person with a compulsion to belittle others in comparison with herself. In this case the person suffering her scorn is her troubled and recently deceased cousin, making her catty barbs all the more cruel and unnecessary.

    To make it worse, this is then followed by the longest and most boring description of someone putting their hair into a pony-tail ever committed to paper, breaking Harris’ previous record with ease. Amid the details of the pony-tail’s exact length and Sookie’s ability to centre it exactly, we also witness two men being reduced to gasping lust by the sight of Sookie’s lycra-covered arse. Sookie initially purports to be ignorant of the cause of their reaction, before realising:

    Showing either massive vanity of an incredibly low opinion of all males. Although to be fair most males in Sookie’s world are guilty or sexual assault and/or rape, so maybe she has a point.

    Quinn’s descent into a massive sulk because he was unable to stop Sookie being kidnapped and once more molested, and instead had to be rescued by her even though it’s embarrassing being rescued by a woman. In case you think this is just a personal interpretation of the text :

    Nice medieval attitude Quinn. Don’t thank Sookie or show any sensitivity regarding what just happened. Just go into a strop like a big fat baby because someone else touched your woman and disrespected you.

    Furthermore, Quinn is the kind of man who walks into a room naked and says

    So, all-in-all a grade-A arsehole. Which is of course Sookie’s type.

    The novel finally comes to an end with yet another badly written and dull vampire battle, after which Sookie returns home with the addition of two randomly added sidekicks, a witch and the man she has accidentally turned into a cat. I’m not sure whether Harris has purloined this plot device from

    , Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer or even Sabrina the Teenage Witch, but I am certain that I didn’t want to see it again. The loose ends are wrapped up and the next book clumsily set-up in three pages and then the book mercifully closes with the standard threat of yet another volume of this trash.

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