Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert’s Year of Living Dangerously

Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert’s Year of Living Dangerously

What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Jessica Pan is going to find out.When she found herself jobless and friendless, sitting in the familiar Jess-shaped crease on her sofa, she couldn't help but wonder what life mi...

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Title:Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert’s Year of Living Dangerously
Author:Jessica Pan
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Edition Language:English

Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert’s Year of Living Dangerously Reviews

  • Sara Tucker

    As an introvert with occasionally crippling social anxiety, I regarded Jess Pan's book warily. I saw the cover online, laughed at the icing-on-the-cake image, and then gave the subtitle a little side-eye. An introvert… saying yes… for a whole year? Say it ain't so.

    Alas, Pan pulled me in with enticing  hopes of being more extroverted without it costing me my sanity, and I'm very happy I gave this one a chance.

    I'll start off by saying that motivational, inspirational books like 

    As an introvert with occasionally crippling social anxiety, I regarded Jess Pan's book warily. I saw the cover online, laughed at the icing-on-the-cake image, and then gave the subtitle a little side-eye. An introvert… saying yes… for a whole year? Say it ain't so.

    Alas, Pan pulled me in with enticing  hopes of being more extroverted without it costing me my sanity, and I'm very happy I gave this one a chance.

    I'll start off by saying that motivational, inspirational books like 

    and 

    are my jam. I love fist pumping my way through and being completely convinced (while sitting quietly alone in my house) that I can conquer all my social-anxiety fears and do anything. And then I put the book down and happily prepare for an afternoon in peaceful solitude.

    The thing I feel these books have in common is that they were written by extroverts. What makes Pan's work so convincing is that the root of her perceived issues stems from her being an introvert. Yes!

    After acknowledging that maybe she could use a bit more of a social life, Pan vows to spend the following year doing things well outside of her comfort zone, including going to networking events where she doesn't know anyone (gasp), meeting women from Bumble BFF for coffee or drinks in the hope of feeling the elusive friend-spark (yikes), taking an improv comedy class (please, no), traveling alone and letting a complete stranger pick the destination (you can't even use a guidebook for help making plans when you get there: double yikes), doing stand-up comedy (I'd rather die), and hosting a dinner party (I mean, at least these people already like her). 

    I so totally appreciated the lengths Pan went to for this book. Instead of making bold proclamations about how totally rewarding uncomfortable social events can be (*cough* only an extrovert would say this *cough*), she goes out and does the legwork for us introverts reading with apt attention. And guess what: sometimes it really sucks. She had some really awful, panic-inducing, I'd-rather-be-anywhere-but-here moments along the way, but she stuck with it and came out with a group of unexpected new friends to invite to a dinner party. 

    Pan is the introvert that acknowledges that sometimes introversion is a bit of a problem, makes the resolution to try her hand at extroversion, and faces her fears for an entire year to learn that some of the stuff she was (any many introverts are, I'm sure) afraid of really wasn't that bad. She morphs from a "shintrovert" (shy introvert) into a budding "grintrovert" (gregarious introvert) in hilarious, heartwarming fashion. 

    Her story is one that will stick with me when I'm dreading a networking event or considering cancelling plans, and I'll recommend her advice to many of my introvert friends. 

    Many thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

  • Toni

    I'm not a shintrovert (shy introvert - a term I was not familiar with before reading this book). I enjoy working with people and speaking to them. Yet, I do need my private time and space and reading to recharge my batteries. I have always been happy with this and a company of my fantastic friends who do not see being an introvert or extrovert as better or worse than the other. Reading 'Sorry, I'm late ' was like talking to a friend, a witty, ironic, courageous, sometimes self-absorbed, but ulti

    I'm not a shintrovert (shy introvert - a term I was not familiar with before reading this book). I enjoy working with people and speaking to them. Yet, I do need my private time and space and reading to recharge my batteries. I have always been happy with this and a company of my fantastic friends who do not see being an introvert or extrovert as better or worse than the other. Reading 'Sorry, I'm late ' was like talking to a friend, a witty, ironic, courageous, sometimes self-absorbed, but ultimately understanding friend who just happened to ask herself 'What opportunities am I missing out on and how far am I prepared to go to find this out?'. No, I would never put myself through what she did in search for the answers, but the book that was born out of this experience is both entertaining and thought-provoking.

    Thank you to Edelweiss and the publisher for the ARC provided in exchange for an honest opinion.

  • Jen

    This book was at turns hilarious and caused much head-nodding by this reader in agreement and wonder. Yes, apparently many people think and feel the same way about various social interactions. It is always a comfort to realize you are not the only one to feel a certain way.

    This author may not be a natural at stand-up comedy, BUT she completely blew me away with her writing. I understand that some of that credit goes to editors, Beta-readers, etc., but the meat of the book is HER. And she is fri

    This book was at turns hilarious and caused much head-nodding by this reader in agreement and wonder. Yes, apparently many people think and feel the same way about various social interactions. It is always a comfort to realize you are not the only one to feel a certain way.

    This author may not be a natural at stand-up comedy, BUT she completely blew me away with her writing. I understand that some of that credit goes to editors, Beta-readers, etc., but the meat of the book is HER. And she is friggin' hysterical. Or at the very least, can tell a story that would be humiliating with inner snarky monologue that makes it funny enough to read and laugh and not cringe and put the book down as carefully as possible to pretend that you didn't just read that.

    I honestly still have quotes from the book floating in my head and they pop up at random times to make me smile or laugh.

    This book was a brave endeavor by a very introverted women who wanted to see if she could live differently and still respect her boundaries, to see what boundaries she needed to be comfortable and happy and what she should move, change, or do away with altogether. She had/has guts and I respect her for that. I wouldn't have done a good portion of what she did, but I respect that she did it and that she seems to be happier now.

    This was an amazingly funny and insightful book. I highly recommend it to just about everyone, those who are introverts and extroverts. It doesn't matter which you are, since most people are a mix, it would be very surprising if you didn't see a bit of yourself in her struggles and triumphs. A very human book.

    5, introspective and funny, stars. Worth the read, definitely!

    My thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for an eARC copy of this book to read and review.

  • MissBecka

    A lot of the stuff she forced herself to try was waaaaaay out of my comfort zone.

    Mad props to her for giving it a go and I was happy to live vicariously through her.

    The author is funny and has a way of making you feel a part of the story.

    I'm not sure if that's because I related so much to her story or if she is just that awesome.

    One will never know.

    Thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for my DRC.

  • Montzalee Wittmann

    Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come

    One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes

    by Jessica Pan

    This is a book I requested from NetGalley and the review is voluntary.

    This is a witty and clever book that I enjoyed reading. I can say relate to some of it. It has humor and is a good feeling book. I did find she repeated herself a lot. Worth the read.

  • Rebecca

    Like Jessica Pan, I’m a shy introvert (a “shintrovert”) as well as an American in the UK, so I was intrigued to see the strategies she employed and the experiences she sought out during a year of behaving like an extrovert. She forced herself to talk to strangers on the tube, gave a talk at London’s Union Chapel as part of the

    , used friendship apps to make new girlfriends, did stand-up comedy and improv, attended networking events, went on holiday to an unknown destination, took magic mushr

    Like Jessica Pan, I’m a shy introvert (a “shintrovert”) as well as an American in the UK, so I was intrigued to see the strategies she employed and the experiences she sought out during a year of behaving like an extrovert. She forced herself to talk to strangers on the tube, gave a talk at London’s Union Chapel as part of the

    , used friendship apps to make new girlfriends, did stand-up comedy and improv, attended networking events, went on holiday to an unknown destination, took magic mushrooms, and hosted a big Thanksgiving shindig.

    Like

    , which is a fairly similar year challenge book, it’s funny, conversational and compulsive reading that was perfect for me to be picking up and reading in chunks while I was traveling. Although I don’t think I’d copy any of Pan’s experiments – there’s definitely a cathartic element to reading this; if you’re also an introvert, you’ll feel nothing but relief that she’s done these things so you don’t have to – I can at least emulate her in initiating deeper conversations with friends and pushing myself to attend literary and networking events instead of just staying at home.

  • Jenny (Reading Envy)

    I don't know if I'm an introvert. I know I'm perceived as an extrovert, so much so that when I moved into my current job, one of the librarians who would have to report to me sent me an article about how to care for introverts (ha!) But I have my own hill to climb to actually go out or show up. And I usually enjoy myself if I can hole up with a small group or one person (Gallup calls this the relator strength and doesn't bother with the E/I dichotomy.)

    I enjoyed this book where Jessica Pan spent

    I don't know if I'm an introvert. I know I'm perceived as an extrovert, so much so that when I moved into my current job, one of the librarians who would have to report to me sent me an article about how to care for introverts (ha!) But I have my own hill to climb to actually go out or show up. And I usually enjoy myself if I can hole up with a small group or one person (Gallup calls this the relator strength and doesn't bother with the E/I dichotomy.)

    I enjoyed this book where Jessica Pan spent a year doing things outside of her comfort zone, sometimes taking classes or consulting experts along the way. (Some of these experts had really useful advice! Have an exit strategy. Commit to an hour. Bring a friend. Etc.)

    One of my favorite chapters was when she told a story at a live event for The Moth. I also loved her comedy routines and how she talked herself into doing it three times. I felt she saw performance as extroverted, and I actually think these situations can be a safe way for introverts to get out there, because being on stage or having a persona does create distance between you and the masses. I'll give her a pass since she interacted quite a bit with fellow performers, even making some friends and connections.

    Possibly the even greater extrovert experiences came from the excruciating daily challenges like initiating small talk on London's public transportation when that isn't a norm for anyone, trying to get male strangers to have deep conversations upon meeting them (if I tried this, guarantee that it would be interpreted as flirting, because nobody just goes deep for the sake of deep conversation,) and the daily grind of leaving the house. And I loved her dinner party. What's worse for an introvert than letting others inside your safe space?

    .

    I had an ARC of the book from the publisher through Edelweiss and it comes out May 28, 2019.

  • The Captain

    Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this memoir eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  So here be me honest musings . . .

    Okay so I be an introvert from an entire family of very extroverted people.  The ma can meet and talk to anyone and makes life-long friends everywhere she goes.  Me sis loves parties and tons of people hanging out at her house.  I be a tough ol' salt who has a withering glare, a distaste for crowds, and a cutless for prodding if ye get too close.  And yet I be th

    Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this memoir eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  So here be me honest musings . . .

    Okay so I be an introvert from an entire family of very extroverted people.  The ma can meet and talk to anyone and makes life-long friends everywhere she goes.  Me sis loves parties and tons of people hanging out at her house.  I be a tough ol' salt who has a withering glare, a distaste for crowds, and a cutless for prodding if ye get too close.  And yet I be the weird one.  Bah!  As I grown older and even more set in me ways, I like nothing more than long nights at sea with me book and me bunk and the peace of the waves.  So when I saw this title it made me laugh and I had to give it a go.

    And the author's journey is hell, pure and simple.  I was impressed.  I can talk to strangers if I must.  Though the sails end up tattered and all hope was nearly lost, I have survived public speaking engagements.  A Captain must do such things or face mutiny.  But doing improv or performing stand-up comedy.  I would rather slit me own throat.  I am an introvert who despises having to force extrovertedness at all costs.  Only for survival mateys!

    I ended up having a decent time reading this one.  I certainly found the first half of the book much more to me taste then the second half.  I feel that the latter part of her year seemed to be discussed in less detail.  It was less about the interesting people she met and more about the social situations liking traveling alone or taking magic mushrooms or more comedy nights.  I have no interest in the mushrooms and no problems traveling alone.  So I did get a bit bored.  But ultimately I applaud this kindred introvert and her pluck.  Congrats matey.  I raise me grog in toast.  Arrrr!

    So lastly . . .

    Thank you Andrews McMeel Publishing!

    Side note: for the large majority of introverts on me crew, if ye haven't read quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking then I suggest giving it a gander!

  • carol.

    This sounds

  • Genevieve Trono

    I was totally intrigued when I saw the title of this book. I am a social introvert and I enjoyed this lighthearted but relatable non-fiction book that read like an engaging novel.

    As a shy introvert frequently known as a "shintrovert", Jessica Pan decided to take a year to step out of her shell and enter the "extroverted world". After a family crisis in her family turned into a light bulb moment she realized she was lacking in the friend's department. She decided to take this time to focus on co

    I was totally intrigued when I saw the title of this book. I am a social introvert and I enjoyed this lighthearted but relatable non-fiction book that read like an engaging novel.

    As a shy introvert frequently known as a "shintrovert", Jessica Pan decided to take a year to step out of her shell and enter the "extroverted world". After a family crisis in her family turned into a light bulb moment she realized she was lacking in the friend's department. She decided to take this time to focus on connecting with new people who might just turn into the good friends she was hoping for in her own life.

    She shares her trials and tribulations and also the things she learned along the way...many of which, pleasantly surprised her. This book was insightful and humorous and if this title catches your eye, you might enjoy it too!

    Thank you to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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