Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life.Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women...

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Title:Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
Author:Emily Nagoski
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Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle Reviews

  • Meagan

    This book is filled with so much information, and I’ve been obsessively recommending it and quoting it to just about every woman I know. It’s got so much good and general information about the stress cycle, and how to deal with it. (And anxiety, and burnout, and loneliness, and and and.) A lot of the information applies to all humans, but this book addresses the unique stress related to being a female-type person. None of that stress will be surprising to women, but this is the first time I can

    This book is filled with so much information, and I’ve been obsessively recommending it and quoting it to just about every woman I know. It’s got so much good and general information about the stress cycle, and how to deal with it. (And anxiety, and burnout, and loneliness, and and and.) A lot of the information applies to all humans, but this book addresses the unique stress related to being a female-type person. None of that stress will be surprising to women, but this is the first time I can think of that I’ve gotten good advice about what to do about it. Good, science-based advice that doesn’t involve just taking a bubble bath, taking a deep breath, and plunging back into the fray.

    In this intensely depressing moment of history, with Trump and Kavanaugh and Weinstein (and and and) this book made me feel a little hopeful. I’ll need to revisit it regularly, because it involves a lot of elements, but it rang true. I hope the women I know and love will read it. It’s so worth the time.

    Thanks to the publisher for providing me with an advance copy!

  • Lorilin

    The only reason I picked up this book is because I went to the bookstore to pick up a different book by the same author called

    (a truly outstanding, mind-blowing exploration of female sexuality and the female orgasm. #yesplease). While I was there, though, I saw that Emily Nagoski (and her twin sister, Amelia) just released a new book called

    . Whaaaat?! A book on how to

    The only reason I picked up this book is because I went to the bookstore to pick up a different book by the same author called

    (a truly outstanding, mind-blowing exploration of female sexuality and the female orgasm. #yesplease). While I was there, though, I saw that Emily Nagoski (and her twin sister, Amelia) just released a new book called

    . Whaaaat?! A book on how to calm the eff down? Sold!

    I read

    in two days, and holy smokes wow, what a game changer. Probably the most important thing I learned about was completing the stress cycle—how even if you eliminate your stress trigger (e.g., your kids aren’t yelling at you anymore because you are letting them watch a movie), you still have to deal with the stress that’s floating around in your body. It literally, physically needs someplace to go. You have to workout, cry, laugh, breathe deeply, or create. Whatever it is, that pent up energy has to move through and OUT of you for you to actually feel calm again. And if you don’t allow yourself to complete the stress cycle, you basically just walk around all day every day with that constant frantic hum of electricity buzzing through your body. We’ve all been there, and it’s maddening.

    Though the advice above is applicable to both women AND men, be warned that the Nagoski twins spend a lot of time talking about “The Patriarchy (ugh)." They argue (and use scientific studies to prove) that women have been conditioned to ignore cues from their bodies; push themselves too hard to serve everyone but themselves; hate themselves for not being docile, emotion-less helpmates; and then accept blame when the world tells them they’re crazy for not being able to meet every impossible demand made of them. This section is hard-hitting but incredibly freeing, I’ve got to say. Men might have a different take on it, though…

    The last and most practical section is all about how to change this stress mess we’re now in. I won’t mention all of their suggestions, but some of my favorites are:

    *** Sleep 8 to 9 hours at night AND make time to rest during the day.

    *** Connect with people who get you. (The small section here on gaslighting was so eye-opening for me.)

    *** Acknowledge and accept the “madwoman in the attic” who constantly tells you that you aren’t measuring up. Find a way to become her friend.

    *** Show yourself some compassion, even when (especially when) the healing hurts.

    In short, I loved

    . It was the perfect book to read at this particular moment in my life—a breath of fresh air that helped me, well, breathe. I’m recommending it to every woman I know (and even a couple men…).

  • Molly Ferguson

    This is the feminist book on stress I never knew I needed! I would never have picked up this book if I were judging its cover, first for the "breast cancer ribbon pink" of the cover and then for the title. I blame the publishers rather than the authors for this, though, because once inside the book is searingly feminist and offers excellent examples and tips for how to "complete the stress cycle" so that you live to smash the patriarchy another day. I don't think of myself as someone who is "bur

    This is the feminist book on stress I never knew I needed! I would never have picked up this book if I were judging its cover, first for the "breast cancer ribbon pink" of the cover and then for the title. I blame the publishers rather than the authors for this, though, because once inside the book is searingly feminist and offers excellent examples and tips for how to "complete the stress cycle" so that you live to smash the patriarchy another day. I don't think of myself as someone who is "burnt out," and yet I found myself relating to so much of the book. I loved the explanation of the stress cycle, human giver syndrome, and the science the book offers on these things, as well as the summaries and worksheets. I even made a copy of the chapter titled "The Game is Rigged" to pass out to friends! The book got a little corny sometimes though - it didn't need the gimmicky internet speak it lapsed into (TL;DR). Overall, I really appreciated it and I think it should be sold as an antidote to _Girl, Wash your Face_, in a two-pack with Rebecca Traister's _Rage_.

  • Trin

    This is a really well-intentioned book, and I think/hope it will be helpful to a lot of people. I think the authors' advice is generally very good. However, nothing in here was particularly new to me, nor presented in a way that especially resonated. In fact, I found the sort of Tumblr-y, fandom-lite writing style--"feels"! "tl;dr"!

    , good god--to be a little too cutesy. Like, it was just a half-beat off rhythm from the kind of humor and #relatablecontent that

    resonat

    This is a really well-intentioned book, and I think/hope it will be helpful to a lot of people. I think the authors' advice is generally very good. However, nothing in here was particularly new to me, nor presented in a way that especially resonated. In fact, I found the sort of Tumblr-y, fandom-lite writing style--"feels"! "tl;dr"!

    , good god--to be a little too cutesy. Like, it was just a half-beat off rhythm from the kind of humor and #relatablecontent that

    resonate with me, and that slight offness grated more than if this had been a cold and purely academic work.

    I can definitely see the audience though, and I hope it helps them, because in general terms, I think the authors are spot on about why modern women are stressed the fuck out. (Hint: it's the patriarchy, stupid.)

  • Elyse Walters

    Audiobook... read by the author.

    When I first saw this perky pink- book - with the title

    “Burnout”.... I was kidding - but not completely when I said... “Paul, I have a book for you”.

    Paul looked at the title and said.... “stresses me out just looking at that book”.

    I thought I would be nice and download it and see if I had any words of wisdom to pass on to my husband who is experiencing different degrees of burnout associated with his tired aching body, paperwork, and the state of our country.

    Audiobook... read by the author.

    When I first saw this perky pink- book - with the title

    “Burnout”.... I was kidding - but not completely when I said... “Paul, I have a book for you”.

    Paul looked at the title and said.... “stresses me out just looking at that book”.

    I thought I would be nice and download it and see if I had any words of wisdom to pass on to my husband who is experiencing different degrees of burnout associated with his tired aching body, paperwork, and the state of our country.

    Tossing out special Olympics for children- tossed my husband over the edge into depression.

    So - I listen to many chapters while I was relaxing in our warm pool.

    I repeat: I was ‘relaxed’ when listening to this Audiobook.

    It didn’t take long until everything about this book was stressing me out. I found it completely annoying.

    Much of the writing is semantics - a clever play on words and made up scenarios/ stories that we can relate to.... but do we need to have every little detail -people’s challenges- POUNDED INTO OUR HEADS? It’s exhausting.

    A totally ineffective self help book.

    There wasn’t an ounce of anything that wasn’t familiar.

    This book wasn’t even close to offering clear effective solutions.

    The big conclusion- The book isn’t about happiness… It’s about joy. The difference between the two words is that happiness are things that are happening...

    Joy is a state of being...( basically our inner state of well-being).

    Every chapter ‘stresses’ the stresses.

    The givers of the world: teachers - nurses - mothers - all give too much.

    What’s new about that?

    We need connection... yes I agree -

    So what? And your point is????

    A very annoying stressful - draining experience. It’s a no-fun venting party of everything we all already know.

    Dull and boring!!!!

    I want my money back.

    Paul was right... this book is guaranteed to stress you out.

    It’s a health hazard.... ‘creating’ stress induced endorphins.

    No way Jose! Not a fan!!!

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