Gender Queer: A Memoir

Gender Queer: A Memoir

In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortificat...

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Title:Gender Queer: A Memoir
Author:Maia Kobabe
Rating:
Edition Language:English

Gender Queer: A Memoir Reviews

  • Maia

    I wrote this book and I am proud of it.

  • Ashley Guillory

    A brilliant and raw exploration of identity and self. A much needed voice and perspective in the area of gender expression and discussion.

  • Emma

    This graphic memoir is very well done and I truly believe that it might be helpful for a lot of people. Here the author explores eir gender identity and how e came to be and understand who e is today. It was nice seeing a nonbinary person represented and also learning about the e, em, eir pronouns.

    The illustrations are very good and I also really appreciated how eir family was present throughout

    This graphic memoir is very well done and I truly believe that it might be helpful for a lot of people. Here the author explores eir gender identity and how e came to be and understand who e is today. It was nice seeing a nonbinary person represented and also learning about the e, em, eir pronouns.

    The illustrations are very good and I also really appreciated how eir family was present throughout the whole comic.

    I highly recommend this one!

  • Maggie Stiefvater

    Youthfully bright, honest, uncertain, optimistic.

  • C.G. Drews

    I adored this! It was so heartfelt, detailed, and very deeply honest, raw and personal. I loved the page where the author was like (when e was a teen) "I'm never writing comics about my personal life!"...lolol. But honestly overall this hit me very deeply and I'm so grateful I got to read it. Absolute recommendation with my whole heart.

    (It just ended too abruptly!! I was there, franticly trying to scroll further on my ecopy and I'm like !! no do not end)

  • Steph [They/Them] (Wickedjr Reads)

    I needed this book 20 years ago. Words can not describe how much I love this book. It's a memoir about growing up and figuring out that one is non-binary and asexual. While I am not asexual, I am non-binary...and while I can look back on my life now and realize I have always been this way, it took until age 30 to find the words. To realize, i'm not a freak. I'm not wrong. I'm not confused (anymore-and if I had had the words and someone else saying "me too" I never would have had to be). That i'm

    I needed this book 20 years ago. Words can not describe how much I love this book. It's a memoir about growing up and figuring out that one is non-binary and asexual. While I am not asexual, I am non-binary...and while I can look back on my life now and realize I have always been this way, it took until age 30 to find the words. To realize, i'm not a freak. I'm not wrong. I'm not confused (anymore-and if I had had the words and someone else saying "me too" I never would have had to be). That i'm not alone.

    So many instances of "OMG ME TOO!" "Yes, so much yes" "I feel this so hard" "Wait...there is a WORD for that? And it's not just me?" It's a memoir of someone else's life but so much of it mirrored my own. Not 100% obviously, but a lot of it. And it made me feel so incredibly seen. I am still trying not to cry while writing this...and i'm failing.

    I'm so glad to finally understand my struggle with gender that i've had as long as I can remember. To finally know i'm not a freak, alone, wrong for feeling this way. And that there are words. Words can mean the entire world.

    In some cases I did honestly say "lucky you" to privilege's e had that I did not. Like on page 150 where e mention their lack of chronic pain and health issues. I was born with vacterl association. I am a medical nightmare, have always had chronic pain (getting worse as I get older) and I always will. But e is aware of that privilege.

    I would highly recommend this to, well everyone. Non-binary? Asexual? Queer? Wanting to learn? It's a graphic novel. It's easy and quick to read. It was hard hitting for me because I personally related to a lot of it. I needed this.

    I got it from Hoopla and I will be buying a copy so I can hug it! And re-read it.

    Though saying how much I related to this and having others read it feels like i'm getting naked in front of everyone. But oh well. Because I am who I am. And that's ok.

  • Schizanthus

    Definitely rereading this ASAP!

  • Teal

    A memoir by someone so much like me, yet at the same time so unlike me.

    A few times I had to set it down and cry. Be forewarned that I can't even pretend to aspire to objectivity, and brace yourselves for a review that's going to be more about me than about the book. Or move along if that (understandably) doesn't appeal to you.

    The graphic novel format lends itself well to Maia Kobabe's story, perhaps because it adds a playful element that complements the sheer quirkiness of eir life experience.

    T

    A memoir by someone so much like me, yet at the same time so unlike me.

    A few times I had to set it down and cry. Be forewarned that I can't even pretend to aspire to objectivity, and brace yourselves for a review that's going to be more about me than about the book. Or move along if that (understandably) doesn't appeal to you.

    The graphic novel format lends itself well to Maia Kobabe's story, perhaps because it adds a playful element that complements the sheer quirkiness of eir life experience.

    This was me, too, from the time I was 11 years old. But I was born in an era when there was no way to communicate that fundamental fact about myself, because the language did not yet exist for concepts like gender identity. As I grew up I kept trying to tell people about "how I am," but after a couple of decades had to give it up as a hopeless cause.

    Only recently did I discover that there are now, finally, words I can use to describe myself to others -- the most general of which is genderqueer. (More specifically, I identify as agender, i.e., I have no sense of gender at all. I can't even stretch my imagination far enough to guess what it's like for people to feel they have a gender; it's all a mystery to me.) It's a vast understatement to say I was wracked with envy as I read Maia's story of growing up in a world where the right words do exist, and people like oneself can be found and befriended.

    Yessssssssss.

    Maia seems content with the general self-description of genderqueer, with no need to pin it down further.

    I went through mood swings as I read, resonating powerfully with some of eir experiences, and finding others utterly alien, for example eir asexuality. Sometimes I just had to laugh at the odd parallels in our lives, like this:

    When I was a kid, I was the one everyone called if they needed to be "saved" from a snake. Actually I still am, because I'm on-call for my local community as a rattlesnake relocator.

    Enough (more than enough! ugh!) about me. I'd like to say more about the book, honestly, but it put me through the wringer emotionally, and I've pretty much exhausted my ability to be coherent. I hope it finds a wide audience -- or at least finds its way to the folks who can benefit from, and rejoice at, seeing genderquirkiness embraced and explored.

  • David Schaafsma

    Gender Queer is a memoir comic by Maia Kobabe with a title that signals the desire to reach out to others, I think, of similar non-binary inclinations (or commitments). In this still relatively new moment of non-binary pronoun usage to signal identity, Kobabe uses the “Gayatri Spivak” system of “e, em, eir.” E also identifies as asexual, though e does have a kink or two. For part of the book Kobabe identified as bi, but really, e does not want to be either a girl or boy (so e’s, just for the sak

    Gender Queer is a memoir comic by Maia Kobabe with a title that signals the desire to reach out to others, I think, of similar non-binary inclinations (or commitments). In this still relatively new moment of non-binary pronoun usage to signal identity, Kobabe uses the “Gayatri Spivak” system of “e, em, eir.” E also identifies as asexual, though e does have a kink or two. For part of the book Kobabe identified as bi, but really, e does not want to be either a girl or boy (so e’s, just for the sake of identification, not trans), or have any sexual relationships with others, though we learn e tried. Eir (queer) sister at one point told em she thought Maia was genderless, and this might be something e would still agree with, not sure. Eir family and friends have all been very supportive, it seems.

    I had to look up the difference between the non-binary/gender queer and gender fluid, which is more about fluctuating between genders, or being flexible about it all.

    Kobabe is shy, secretive, non-confrontational, so it seems like a particular act of courage for someone like em to write such a book, to share her story, though probably more for others on the road to their own journies than even for em. (How’m I doing on the pronoun usage, kids?! I’m a cis-gendered dude of a certain age. . . I will admit I am still learning, and had to go over this several times. . .)

    Not that I think this book describes “a phase,” but I have the sense that Kobabe will think somewhat differently about all these issues ten years from now, which is not to say e will suddenly become binary. I just have this feeling that part of identity for many people seems to involve exploration, just figuring things out. Youth is a particular time for this, of course; maybe for some people it happens later.

    Until this book made me think hard about it, I hadn't realized how many people I know that are probably gender queer.

    I like the art, I like knowing eir story. I guess the only issue I have with the book is that titling it thus makes it appear less autobiographical and more like a book that defines a topic, which it does not. It is about em and eir specific identity issues/commitments, while introducing you to the idea generally of people being non-binary. But anyone who is gender queer or knows someone who is ought to read this book, I think. You’ll learn a lot. I did. I am glad it is being read by so many people already on Goodreads, people largely seeming to love it!

  • chan ☆

    i enjoyed this!

    i rarely read memoirs, but i'm thinking that i won't be rating them since it's kind of hard to rate a real person's real experiences.

    i will say this was a very personal memoir that highlighted the author's journey to self acceptance and discovery. eir were constantly growing and changing and i liked that the end of this graphic novel was kind of open ended, but satisfying.

    i also think that despite the simple language used and minimal text, emotion was displayed very well and i fee

    i enjoyed this!

    i rarely read memoirs, but i'm thinking that i won't be rating them since it's kind of hard to rate a real person's real experiences.

    i will say this was a very personal memoir that highlighted the author's journey to self acceptance and discovery. eir were constantly growing and changing and i liked that the end of this graphic novel was kind of open ended, but satisfying.

    i also think that despite the simple language used and minimal text, emotion was displayed very well and i feel like it opened my eyes even more to what it's like being gender queer/non binary. definitely recommend this one.

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